sense of familiarity

wow, its been so long since i write. so many things have changed. the guy we loved so dearly? yeah he left and got together with another girl in less than a month after breaking up. parents? they're not so bad now, they're trying... a little. work? we still struggle with it. oh, we're diagnosed with bipolar type 2 now btw! and we've been taking meds daily from the end of 2022 sampai sekarang :D life is still a little funky here and there.. but we're not actively suicidal anymore.

its been almost 5 months since you broke up, the pain have subsided a lot. we dont really cry about it anymore, id say we've moved on. we're getting to know a guy we met from tinder (again), and it's going.... okay? except for the fact that you can't stop thinking about how you're too much... you feel a lot, you need a lot but he's not the guy that we used to date... no matter how much you hate ur ex now, you still think he's... home? well not exactly, but he was everything you wanted. he gave us the comfort we needed without us thinking we're too much. our energy was always reciprocated. not with this one though... you can't really feel that with this new guy. you're constantly thinking if it's even the right fit, him and us.

though ive moved on, i still crave the sense of familiarity. i miss feeling like i belong somewhere, like i belong in a pair of arms. the one i can go to anytime. we've been homeless for quite some time now.