faking things are getting really tiring. faking like im happy while i actually feel nothing, is exhausting. there, i said it. im not the heart broken bitch, im not the sad bitch. im THAT numb bitch. i want to feel something again, please God.
the closest ive got to feeling a thing was probably few days ago, where i just panicked and started crying hysterically but silently. i was just shaking in my bed, searching for someone i can talk with. online. yes, online. im thankful for my roommates, i love them, but i can never open up to people. mainly because im tired of repeating shits and because i know they will never understand.
how do u explain to people that its normal for you to be panicking? how do i explain that i need a hug when im panicking, but only from certain people? how? i hate it when people just brush me off when i told them im panicking and shivering so hard, i hate telling people that im in my most vulnerable state. so i ended up crying and hoping that it will go away soon.
i want to feel genuine happiness again.
i want to feel getting my heart broken again.
i want to feel human.
i dont feel human.
No comments:
Post a Comment